


Silence Is A Scary Sound

by rapunzariccia



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-29
Updated: 2012-07-29
Packaged: 2017-11-11 00:15:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/472315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapunzariccia/pseuds/rapunzariccia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the trolls and the beta kids finally united and a week left before what they assume is going to be the Ultimate Showdown, Jade figures something out. Heroes aren't always able to save everyone from the darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence Is A Scary Sound

**Author's Note:**

> written for Kyla.

The first thing Jade notices about the meteor is how quiet it is.

She has a moment of thinking it's maybe not as bad as she originally thought it to be! After all, there aren't very many people here since the troll's numbers were slashed neatly in two, and she has been travelling for years now with many more than just her brother. There is a big different between the never ending sound of nakkadiles and salamanders and sprites acting up, and the absence of noise on the rock they've finally caught up with.

Five hours after she and John and Casey and Davesprite - oops, she means Dave - stepped off the S.S. Victory! No John, That's A Stupid Name, Let's Call It The Party Boat, intergalactic glory that thankfully didn't require them to steer, Jade decides she was sick of the void that now envelops them. It is a strange quiet. It isn't as though people aren't talking; John and Dave are creating the ruckus of the decade to make up for three years of no contact, and everyone is chattering rather excitedly, glad for the new company. The trolls are considerably less curious about humans than they had been three years ago, but still interested in their arrival.

Jade learns a lot about trolls very quickly. Karkat is nowhere as noisy as she thought he would be, and he seems almost offended when she points this out to him. Although no-one stops talking, the noise seems to fade away quickly, and what Jade has now learnt to be "normal" takes a hold of them again, smothering the sound out of everyone. It's like there's a vacuum that's targeting every breath they take - perhaps it is fear of the future, fear of death, fear of something completely unknown that they are simply refusing to acknowledge. Maybe they are acknowledging it with their silence. The past stretches out behind them like a bloody trail, and as one they turn their heads away and talk about other things. For all the time it has taken them to come together again, the past is still too close to them, shadowing their footsteps worryingly close.

It is Death, Jade thinks. Death is the one that is following them so closely, reaching out with its bony fingers to take the words from their mouths. She thinks this rightly: the conversation takes its definite blow when John mentions Vriska almost hesitantly to Karkat, and the situation spirals downward and rapidly out of control from there. If it were a tangible thing, the conversation would be hurtling toward the groundd with a comical descending-rocket noise, and a good, satisfying explosion once it hit.

But John is still John, and doesn't quite notice the shift in atmosphere, probably thinks Karkat has itchy feet and that's why he's shuffling his weight. The troll has the decency to look away as Rose cautiously takes two steps forward and tells him that she's very sorry, but Vriska's been dead since before we arrived, and, um. That's all the condolences John receives. His sister thinks that maybe a better job could have been done of breaking the news, but she can't find it in herself to blame her friend. Rose may be their go-to armchair psychologist, but she's never had to announce a death before, and the words rightly stick in her throat.

They break off into twos and ones and go about their business.

Six hours after they have disembarked, Jade turns to Dave (who she swears has nearly stepped on her heels at least twice now) and says that she wants to adventure through the meteor. He shrugs and says yeah, sure, let's go find all the secrets this place has to offer, and he follows her without complaining, despite the fact that he's been holed up here for years and knows it better than the back of his hand. They bump into Rose and invite her, but she declines in favour of keeping her thick book and Kanaya company instead.

The Witch and the Knight give the area a thorough once-over, and a twice-over for good measure. They come across almost everyone - there's no hint of Davesprite anywhere they look - waving as they encounter them, and then they walk in on John as he grieves. They don't notice him at first, and almost trip over each other trying to get out of the room quicker than the other. The void of paradox space chooses the moment they shut the door to steal their voices again. Jade looks at Dave and her brows crease. He takes her hand and squeezes it.

They backtrack to Rose's company and sit in silence together, not even bothering to keep their knees from touching, and Rose does not ask them what is wrong. Jade tries to forget she saw her ecto-brother holding eight-sided dice.

###### 

After that accidental encounter, Jade finds she cannot stop noticing the little things. There doesn't seem to be much on the meteor, and the trolls cope much better than either of the humans - she wonders if they have always had little to call their own, or if they've simply adjusted to asceticism without much trouble - but they do have things of their own that they are fiercely protective of. Jade waits until she has mustered enough courage to ask the next troll that plays with their personal effects in front of her.

"That's a cool staff. Where did you get it?"  
Terezi rewards her with a blank look - at least, she thinks it is a blank look, it's hard to tell behind those glasses - before her face splits into a sharp grin and she pulls the sword free from its sheath. It looks too shiny to have been used, and Jade thinks that it is pretty for an ornamental weapon, and that it suits its owner. Angles and points do.

"It belonged to my ancestor," the troll crows. Her voice is strangely raspy. It suits her as well as the sword does. "The great Legislacerator Redglare, fiercest of them all! It was left for me to discover and is mine by blood right."  
"Your ancestor?" Jade asks, and someone on the other side of the room groans. Apparently the trolls have all swapped similar stories a million times before. Terezi shoots the offender a glare (at least, Jade thinks it's supposed to be a glare, and she very nearly aims it in the right direction) before she decides to condense the story.  
"She was a member of the cruellest bar a very long time ago. She was murdered; her judicial sword was left for me to find, and now it is mine."  
"No, I mean- ancestors!" the troll's brow quirks at the exclamation and her mouth begins to twist in confusion. "It sounds like - like a really cool thing! Ancient birthrights and all that kind of stuff to uphold. Almost like it's a really heavy thing to bear."

Jade is not entirely wrong. Not two days after leaving their craft, she learns that Redglare was not the only one that left a legacy for their descendant to discover sweeps into the future. Jade is nothing if not dedicated to her investigation, and is both parts successful and not: she finds that Karkat does not want to talk about his, and Terezi has given little thought to any other but her own. She finds the other troll brushing Rose's hair, and the idea of privacy does not occur to her.  
"Tell me about your ancestor, Kanaya!"

She learns a lot, and not just on Kanaya's own ancestor. The elegant female is not the library Jade had hoped her to be, but she is educated enough. Rose is unconcerned about the topic, seemingly already knowledgeable about it, and reminds her troll companion that what she does is commonly known as mothering on Earth. Kanaya seems as though she is about to say something further about her ancestor, something that isn't the colour of her blood or what her duty was, but shuts her mouth after a glance at the transportilizer. Jade still knows nothing about who Karkat is descended from and thinks that is maybe the reason for the silence, and she is right.

"You seem very interested in our predecessors."  
"Yeah! I mean, it's so cool to have a legacy like that passed down to you, don't you think?"  
"Isn't it the same for you and your man-lusus?"

She gives the thought her attention for a moment, but she purses her lips and shakes her head. "Not exactly. You could say that, I guess, but it's not something I've gone looking for, and he wasn't a figure of legend. It's more recent, and that makes him... just family."

Kanaya _hmm_ s at this and puts the brush down on the table. Rose stays as she is. "I suppose you will not rest until you know everything of their lives, then."  
"I'd like to," Jade says truthfully, and doesn't realise she's almost pouting, "But I don't think I'm going to. Karkat won't talk about his, and, um, this isn't exactly the full group I thought we'd meet. You've told me a little about the others, but I guess you don't know everything."

The troll takes a seat and pulls fabric from her desk. It seems there are always alterations to be made.  
"I know more than you think I do."

###### 

Jade learns a great many things that intrigue her before the third day on the meteor dawns, or comes as close to dawning as a rock hurtling through paradox space can. She almost expects Rose to get up and leave, but her friend stays sitting and listening as the troll tells them about the different ranks in the imperial army and why they as children are unsupervised by adult trolls. She realises that trolls are actually pretty cruel! Jade expresses surprise at this, and Kanaya arches one elegant eyebrow in surprise, as though anything other than their violence was to be expected, but she lets the comment go. Jade thinks maybe, um, it's a good thing she said that, and five minutes later it hits her that maybe she stepped over some kind of line and now their vampire troll friend is doubting her ability to be a good troll and-

(She shares a panicked glance with Rose and is relieved when the other girl shakes her head. Rose understands. Jade thinks that Rose doesn't feel like a good human, and she trusts her friend to understand others of her kin.)

The only time the other troll falters is when she starts talking about Her Imperious Condescension. It takes both humans to plead and beg and wheedle the rest of the story out of her, and as she tells it she cannot stop glancing around the room. Apparently she is scared, scared that someone will hear, or that there will be a drone in the corner of the room ready to cull her, or something equally ridiculous. Rose takes one of her friend's hands in her own and pets it gently, reminding her that they are all alone out here without words.

Words are fast becoming unnecessary on this rock.

Slowly, they learn about the Condesce and her special brand of cruelty. There's a lot to hear about the trident-wielding power-hungry alien empress: she's done more than one being has any right to, including intergalactic slavery and more murder than either human is comfortable hearing about. They learn the sad story of her helmsman, and that her movements seem like she is running from something, and they are all glad when Dave enters the room with John following shortly, both complaining loudly and asking Rose to mediate. The tension is dispelled for the most part and they pretend the conversation didn't happen.

Jade cannot stop thinking about what she's heard.

###### 

The next day, she has a plan. Jade is sick of the ever present darkness: she has observed it for long enough now, and knows that it lurks in corners and jumps on people when they least expect it, and that no-one else can really see it. She hasn't been here for long, but she has noticed how people seem to sink in on themselves when it gets too quiet. They seem almost dazed, like they were okay one minute and then something big and heavy came hurtling out of nowhere and hit them in the face.

It is for this reason that she cannot blame her chatterbox friends, no matter how much it grinds on her nerves. Dave has taken to following either her or John around, and today is her time to deal with him. She does this by foisting him off on Rose instead, who easily slips into the role of conversational partner, and Jade slips away into the room of computers to think.

She is alone, and she's actually surprised that there aren't more people in here, but she isn't complaining. It only takes a while before she comes up with an answer for the problem. Or not. Maybe what she has isn't an answer to their problem; maybe this is something that she cannot hope to combat, and maybe she'll only create more, but Jade is sick of seeing the darkness hold her friends tightly and refuse to let them go. In her books, loosening that grip is more than enough of a good reason.

The look on Karkat's face when she pulls him aside and quietly asks to see the bodies of his long-dead friends would be funny if what she was asking wasn't so brazenly offensive. His brows arch right up and disappear under his hair and he splutters - he actually chokes on whatever he wants to say, and sprays spittle over her, looks like he might apologise for it, and doesn't. He drags her out of the room and demands in the best hushed tone he can muster WHY she's asking this, does the human race have no decent courtesy? Does it mourn differently, does it drag its corpses out for display, or, or, and she interrupts.

"It's been three years, Karkat. Despite what you think some of them were my friends too! I want to say my goodbyes to them before we... before whatever happens happens."

She feels terrible for lying.

She feels even worse when Karkat looks deep into her eyes for the lie and doesn't find it. She is lead to the resting ground of what is left of their dead companions, and left alone to grieve in peace.

Jade stands without moving for a while and simply watches them. They have all had their heads removed and rest in great tanks filled with what she assumes is a preservative, heads and bodies floating in the same tanks together. It's strange and more than a little disconcerting, but she is no stranger to dead bodies, and isn't grossed out by it. She does wonder about how many there are - weren't there supposed to be six dead trolls here? only four remain - but she isn't interested in looking for the others. She can make do with what she has here.

There is a computer in her captchalogue, and a lot of wiring. She takes it all out, lays it on the floor, and crosses her arms as she thinks of how to proceed. This is a job that requires a scientific mind and a great concentration, and she has both. The body in the tank she approaches floats unknowingly as she starts work.

###### 

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] --

GG: okay ummm  
GG: here goes nothing i guess....  
GG: hello??

It didn't take that long to set everything up, which was a surprise. She had been expecting to have to mess around with heads and bodies and wires and computers for a lot longer than she had been in the room for, and she thinks that everything is set up properly. She hopes it's set up properly, because if it isn't then she's going to have to push her fingers further up the dead troll's neck and get even messier! There's already enough blood on her hands (and she's a little disturbed by that, because isn't blood supposed to congeal and dry out or something once someone dies?), and she tries unsuccessfully to wipe hair out of her face using her elbow. It doesn't take long before she decides fuck it, a little blood on her face really isn't something she's bothered about, and she uses her hands for the task instead. It doesn't even look like blood.

Not for the first time, she looks over at the door and wonders if anyone is going to enter the room. She almost expects Karkat to burst in screaming _J'ACCUSE!!!_ with his eyes wild and finger pointing the blame at her, but it doesn't happen. She is left well alone, and the ball of guilt in her stomach feels like it wriggles as she turns her gaze back to the computer.  


CA: wwhat in the name of evverlasting FUCK is goin on  
CA: im no expert in biology but im pretty sure  
CA: im dead  
CA: this is nothin i expected death to be like  
CA: i  
CA: ok look ill drop the fuckin theatrics just answwer me please wwhats goin on  
GG: do you know who i am?  
CA: a course i fuckin knoww wwho you are youre one a the humans  
CA: the one i gavve that legendary piece a shit to  
CA: are you goin to tell me wwhats happened to me  
GG: i will! that's only fair. but you have to promise not to freak out at me first, ok??  
CA: wwhy

Jade knows that no good conversation ever starts with _promise you'll stay calm!_ It's a law of the universe that if you promise not to get angry, you're going to do the exact opposite once you learn what comes next. She sees her reflection in the screen and pulls a face at herself before she starts to type again. Her gaze remains fixed on the screen. She has no desire to look at the remains of the troll prince beside her in case his eyes are open, blank and accusatory.

GG: okay here goes!! well first up  
GG: it's been three years since you died  
CA: wwhat  
GG: shhhhh!!!  
GG: during which time me and john and davesprite and our planets and everyone flew through the universes to get here  
GG: it's a long story but this is just how our game ended up i guess!!  
GG: so i'm here with the rest of your troll friends now and we're flying through space together  
GG: and quite frankly i got sick real quick of all the moping around everyone was doing!!  
CA: did you not think that maybe givvin them some time to grievve wwas a good idea  
GG: i said to be quiet!!!!!  
GG: i talked to some of the trolls and found out about your empress...  
GG: i heard she had someone power her ship especially to get around but she only managed to do it by making him a part of the ship  
GG: and it's not really... okay well it's probably not a good idea at all! but i really wanted everyone to smile again  
GG: and this was the only way i could think of making it happen. :(  
CA: so followwin the footsteps of our most belovved and feared condescension wwas the best idea you came up wwith  
CA: i thought you wwere smart  
GG: hey!!!! if i was stupid i doubt i would have managed to get this to work! i just got so sick of everyone being so depressed  
GG: haven't you ever wanted to make someone smile just so they'd stop hurting??

There is a very obvious pause before the next words flash up on the screen, and Jade wonders who he wanted to protect when he was still alive. She hasn't tried asking Kanaya or Karkat about the dead trolls, and she seriously doubts she'll get an answer if she does. She's kept her questions at bay, squashing her endless curiosity down for their sakes, and she so badly wants to ask now.

She also wonders if she's maybe hit a sore spot. Instantly her mind tells her that she can't hit a sore spot on a person that's been dead for years, and she banishes that thought to the back of her mind. There's an area specifically designated for awful comments that she shouldn't have thought in the first place, and it is rapidly filling up today.

CA: yeah okay point taken  
CA: but evven so  
CA: i didnt think youd be the kinda person to followw the ideas a the empress  
GG: oh i'm really not! she doesn't sound like the nicest person that's ever existed.  
GG: but i really couldn't think of any way that this might work.  
GG: what's it like?  
CA: wwhats wwhat like  
GG: being dead like this. is it  
GG: okay its not really okay is it!! but do you think it's good enough that i could show someone?  
GG: if i set the rest up and then let people talk to you  
CA: no  
CA: fuck no  
CA: hold that fuckin thought and keep it in your think pan and dont let anyone evver knoww you thought it up in the first place  
CA: then unwwire me from this husktop an put me back wwherevver you got me from  
GG: but  
CA: dont you fuckin but me missy you havve no idea wwhat youvve done  
CA: im pretty sure if i wwas still alivve my blood pusher wwould be fillin wwith so much hate for you right noww  
CA: and not in a caliginous fuckin manner either dont you flatter yourself  
GG: but!!!!  
GG: think about the rest of the trolls! what about if they want to speak to you or any of the others! you can't just say outright that you know how they feel and it's better to be back the way you were!!!  
CA: maybe i cant but havve you really considered what youvve done  
GG: huh? what do you mean??  
CA: if you wwere dead  
CA: an you wwere brought back not evven to proper life by the wwill a someone else  
CA: wwith nothin to look forwward to and no one to celebrate your return  
CA: wwould you wwant that

This time it is Jade's turn to pause, fingers hovering over the keys. One of the big fluffy ears on her head twitches, and she remembers the nightmare that was her own dead dreamself given a life once again. She can almost hear the wailing again, and her own desperate sadness. She thinks hard, and she realises there is a part of her that still aches at being given an existence. John and the others might be here and safe for the time being, but she knows how much it hurts in a world they don't exist.

CA: are you still there  
GG: yes!! i'm just thinking  
GG: and i guess i actually know what you mean better than you think i might  
CA: good so unhook me already  
GG: but i don't want this to have been a complete waste  
GG: i mean  
GG: are you sure there isn't anyone you want to talk to???  
CA: im absolutely certain  
CA: heres the thing i might not a been the greatest guy  
CA: i guess i got wwhat wwas comin to me an im pretty sure not evven a three swweep or howwevver long gap betwween this an that is enough of a break to make up for it  
CA: this shouldnt evven be a thing just put me back to howw i wwas  
CA: an for the lovve a fuck dont tell kar or anyone about this or theyll go leather wwinged flapbeastshit crazy

The other heads and bodies float in the tanks, blissfully unaware of the conversation that is taking place around them. There are only four of them, including the one she has already addled with: she recognises one from her dreams, and wonders if she would get the same response from that one. Surely not all of them left the world in such an angsty manner - they would have friends they would want to talk to, right?

Jade is pulled from her own thoughts as she realises she has been biting her own lip. She's drawn blood, and it stings, but it is a strong enough reminder that there are things in this room that she needs to address before she slips into a philosophical debate with herself. She knows deep down that dead people are meant to stay dead, and the ache in her heart that is what remains of Jadesprite agrees with that thought strongly.

GG: okay. i'll take this all apart and... and go away.  
GG: no one will find out!!! it'll be our little secret, hehehe  
GG: this probably doesn't mean much to you but  
GG: it's nice to have a secret with someone that isn't john. it gets a bit pointless after a while!! so thank you :D  
CA: youre wwelcome noww hurry up

She takes a hold of the wires coming out of the back of the computer firmly with one hand, and finishes typing with the other.

GG: i'm sorry.

###### 

Karkat is the first to notice her return to the communal room, which currently houses almost every being on the meteor. She seems quiet and downcast, like Death has finally caught up with her and stolen her words and cheer and then banished her to the same silent hell that the others are living in. The change does not surprise him, and he does not comment on it. She stays quiet as her friends notice her appearance and the absence of self that she usually commands, and does not answer them as they wonder aloud what happened. She twists her hands in her skirt and bites her lip and stays silent until they let her be.

They fly on through the silent expanse that is paradox space, and Jade wishes so hard for her friends to smile again that it hurts.


End file.
